A time I was confused about my identity, well I never was confused of who I was. I never had a situation where I would think of myself of being different from others. I was always confident of who I was I never complained or hated who I was. I was proud to be how God created me to be like on this world. I have no background of being confused of my identity I'm proud of who I am and still continue my life without any confusion of being who I am. I was born to be created who I am to be now. Never had negative thoughts never cared if I was from a different race. I am happy to be who I am I don't care about judgements. Always looking forward to positive things that come to me in the future.
I am Ronald Duarte, 17 years old and currently a senior at eCals. I have always loved sports! I grew up playing basketball but never baseball. My sophomore year my friends convinced me to try out for the school baseball team, I made the cuts but when the team was set they didn't make it. I doubted if I should play that year since they were the reason I went but I wanted to try it because it seemed fun. That helped me learn that stepping out of my comfort zone was beneficial because one learns new things about themselves and what one likes.
My name is Anel Barocio. I am the youngest of two children. I have an older brother named Edgar,21. My family is mexican. Both my parents were born in mexico and did have to cross to the United States when they were young with the help of their parent(s). My dad is from Michoacan and my mom is from Nayarit. Although my brother and i were born here in the United States, i do consider myself more Mexican than American. Not only for having Mexican parents but for being exposed to such wonderful and colorful culture. Every summer break, my family and i would visit mexico. One year in particular, Mexico and the U.S were playing against each other in a soccer game. I was outside playing with my cousins and friends that i have in mexico, they later asked me who i went for and that i had said i had gone for mexico. One of my friends didn’t believe me because i was from el Norte, as they called it, i must go for the U.S. I still said that i was still going for mexico but they insisted that because i was born in the United States i must go for the U.S team. I couldn’t go for Mexico. If I considered myself more mexican but i wasn’t viewed as mexican, what was I? I was confused about my identity. Am i American or Mexican? Yeah i was born here but does that automatically just make me American? Can’t i be both?
Understanding Ones Feelings....
There was only one point in my life where I felt that I had an identity crisis. That was when I was around 9 years old. I’m okay with sharing this because I don’t mind people knowing, I’ve just never told my parents. At a young age, I found out my I was attracted to girls. At first I told myself there was something wrong with me because I believed it was wrong for me to feel that way. It got to point where I questioned whether or not I was a good person or not because of my sexuality, I was so young, that I thought liking girls meant I was a bad person. But as I grew up, I realized it wasn’t bad at all. That's when I realized I was bisexual. I mean, it may not seem like a big deal because bisexuals, especially girls, don’t get enough heat as the other members of the LGBT community. I’m thankful that I live in a generation where it’s more accepting and normal to be attracted to the same sex. I’ve faced situations where people have made fun of me or belittled me because of my sexuality. It gets me mad because there’s still people who are immature and ignorant to understand one’s feelings. I will continue to support the LGBT community, and fight against discrimination against the LGBT.
Who I am ...
Me being American-Mexican there has been times in my life were I was confused about who I am. Being confused however never stopped me from dreaming over me future. I come from immigrant parents whom came to the U.S for a better life.
Being American-Mexican has put me in some confusing situations. I was born & being raised in America. I do not have any relations with Mexico. I don't remember the date, but I do remember that there was a soccer game, U.S vs Mexico. My family & I were hosting a party to watch the game with my family. My family, asked me which team I was going for & I answered U.S. My family freaked out, they thought I should go for Mexico, but I'm also American. Till this day I dislike soccer.
I am a 17 year old hispanic girl with brown skin, brown eyes, long brown hair. I'm very family oriented. Both of my parents are from Nayarit, México, which I was blessed to visit for the first time this summer. I live with my mother, father & older brother. My older brother , Raul, is 23 and graduated from UCR with a bachelors in business. I love helping others, I volunteer in my local hospital.
Being 17 I don't really have a story to tell about myself, but I do have dreams. My goal is to get excepted to a UC and major in nursing. Being a nurse has always driven me to do good in school. I don't want to be a plain nurse though, I want to be a neonatal nurse. A neonatal nurse focus on premature babies in the ICU.
I can relate to your story when I was confused about if I was Mexican or American. Being young and born in U.S one right away believes that they are English speaking people. I feel that it is our parents responsibility to teach us their culture customs and traditions. Till this day I have trouble speaking proper Spanish and have incidents with my family for being disrespectful, but how can I speak proper Spanish when I am not use to speaking it everyday. However, over the years I learned that it's not how I speak its who I am that makes me Mexican- American.
As a child I have always spoke spanish at home to my mother and grandparents and to me it was normal. At age 6 I went over to a friends house and began to notice that he spoke to his family in english and only english, I became confused as why he didn't speak spanish to his parents when they spoke to him in spanish. I began to question myself, I was unsure of myself, if I should embrace talking spanish or just be " normal " and talk english. I thought that I would be made fun of by my friends for talking spanish at home and so that was when I began to think it was uncool. I began to talk in english to my grandparents who didn't understand and I would get mad that the didn't , I was really angry and told them " why cant you guys speak english ! " . To this day still, I regret ever saying that to my grandparents although I was still a kid, I cane to a realization that I should embrace talking spanish because being Mexican is part of my identity. I realized that when I was about 10 years old and at that age is when I memorized the Mexican National Anthem because I was so ashamed that I once was emberassed to be the race that I am.
Finding what I like
I am Teresa Llamas. And I'm a senior at Ecals. I've always found dufficulty, trying to figure out what I like. And what my passion is. As a kid growing up, my mom always put me in sports it was hard for me to choose what I really wanted to do or play. I tried soccer, basketball,
... Dance, and drill. Until I tried out for cheer that I realized what I liked doing. It was then that I had identified myself as a person and what my passion was.
A time when I was confused about my identity was when people began to ask me if I was Mexican or if I was Salvadorian. People would make me think twice about what side of the family I was, just as Antonio was confused on his identity in the novel Bless Me Ultima by Rudolfo Anaya. I often sit and wonder why people must care so much to want to know where I am from. When I say I am Mexican many people applaud me, when I say I am Salvadorian it seems to put me in a place of shame. Sometimes it gets so hard to tell people where my family is from that I lie and say a totally different country that I think won’t get people to judge me.
My father is Mexican, but he left my family and I behind a long time ago. Due to his absence in my life I never truly considered myself Mexican. I thought that it might be a horrible decision to claim to be Mexican, when my father was never in my life. He never showed me the traditions of his family or his ancestors, therefore I believe that I could not be Mexican.
My mother is a single parent; however, living with her is different from learning her traditions and culture. My mother came to the United States at a very young age, so she does not know much about the traditions or customs of a Salvadorian family. She has lived here for so long that she is only an American citizen, with American customs in her blood. She has not passed on her culture to me, therefore I believe that I am not Salvadorian.
I have researched the culture of both countries in hope for insight on who I am, or what I am. After much reading and research, I began to practice some of the traditions and customs of both countries. I now consider myself Mexican and Salvadorian and I am not ashamed of either one. Both countries contain a different story and a different beauty, and I am here to continue their traditions on to the generations of my family to come. I will not let the history of my Identity die out, I will be the person to continue on to help generations where they came from and what they can be.
I am Kimberly Lopez.i am the only child.I come from a Mexican Mom.And a father from El Salvador.Growing up it was a experience.i was learning two different cultures.Which many know don't really get along. But I knew that I should be proud of were I came from.To never be ashamed. Because both are very unique cultures.Im still at the age 17 trying to find out what I want to do with my life.And I have so many goals that I want to accomplish.That I know I will get to by not giving up so easy.And always giving it my all.Never giving up.
As time passes you will find your self, and find what you really like to do for the rest of your life. you will find what you are good at. yes never give up no matter what. I believe in you.
I am Jonathan Ramirez, currently a senior at Ecals. I am Mexican/American but only talk english and very little spanish. At home all i talk is english but when i go to my grandmas house i talk spanish. Most people that don't know me think that i am "beaner". Everywhere i go people only try to talk to me in spanih because of my looks. However,people are judging me by the way i look. When they present themselves in spanish i always look at them in a weird way because all i speak is english. Till this day it still happens and it bugs me because they are only judging me by the way i look and not because they know me. I wish that people get a chance to know me before they try to judge me and think that i am a "beaner". I should start talking spanish more because over time I've realize that being Mexican is part of my identity. I've also learned that people will always judge a book by its cover.
There has been a time where I was confused of who I was, and I'm still searching for my true identity. I always wondered why I,being a Latina, had always lighter color skin , when usually Latinos have darker color skin. The experience, also led to people thinking I was Salvadorian, I don't know if it was because of the way I speak in Spanish or because of my color skin. People always confused me for either a Salvadoran or a "white" American girl. I was the typical “white”- Mexican 17 year-old girl that got stereotype for her skin color, so I always wondered if I had to get darker in order for people to see that I was a Latina. I realized that in order for people to see that I had Mexican roots, I had to be proud of who I was and proudly show my culture.
I’m a 17-years-old high school student with a dream just like any other student. I come from a humble household, and my parents have taught principles that I will never forget and plan to always have them in my life. Being a Latina has its pros and cons, but when people stereotypes us, I take those comments as something to work for. I know we live in a society that is always going to discriminate, but that doesn’t mean we could stop dreaming. Even if I keep falling, I know I will get back up and continue with my route to success, and I like to prove people wrong. As a Latina, I’m proud of my roots and my culture, and I would never trade them for anything in this world because being a Latina has taught me to be a better person. I can’t truly say, who I am because I’m still figuring that out, but I’m proud of having Mexican roots. I know that whatever happens, it has a reason.
My name is Fernado Bailon and growing up Ive always had a since of who I was ethnic wise.
I knew that I was a Mexican American and I've always been proud of it. I was taught growing up to never be ashamed of who I was. That I was made this way for a reason and i should embrace it. Because of this I will never be ashamed of my roots. I am a Mexican American and I will never be ashamed to say that. My mother and father both came from Mexico and worked very very hard to get where they are now and make me the person that I am now. Being ashamed of what my ethnicity is is being ashamed of them and I will never be ashamed of them. My identity is a Mexican American and I will never forget that.
I'm glad to see that you know your identity . And you never take ashamed in it . Be proud who you are .
My name is Reyna Lima and I am 17 years old. I am the youngest of two. My older brother was named Carlos, 20. My dad was an immigrant but my mom gave him papers and well my mom is a U.S citizen as well as I am. My dad id form Nayarit and my mothers parents are from Guerrero. I consider myself more mexican than american. As I grew up I was expected to learn the language right becasue my grandparents didnt understand English. Throughout my life I've been corrected by my mom to fix my mistakes while talking because my grandparents take it seriously. One thing I've grown up with that is specail and very important to my family is respect. I have to greet them correctly and use "Usted" at all times. I have never had a time were I was confused about my identity. However, my identity has been an issue because there are times when I walk into a restaurant with my freinds or familt and white people stare. I feel like they judge as in like we can't afford it so why are we there or like what are these people doing here. It briings my self esteem down and I don't like the feeling. I also dislike when someone confuses me for only knowing spanish so they try and talk spanish for me to understand but I answer back in English. Things like this upset me and it hurts to know that it exist.
I can relate to your story because growing up my grandparents only knew english and barely understand english so I felt the pressure to speak it well. I would be made fun of by my sibling because I didn't say something correctly or my grandmother would laugh then correct me . I always felt my identity was a issue as well because many people judge you on your appearances so it makes it hard to escape the stereotypes . Stereotypes hurt me as well because they put you in a lower category and that's not where I see myself at all.
I think a time when I was confused about my identity was probably when I first started school when I was little. The reason being because Spanish was my first language, and everyone at school spoke English. But it's kind of weird now because I lost a lot of my spanish due to school, so now it's kind of hard to communicate with my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents on my dad's side because they all mostly speak Spanish. They could understand a little bit of English, but they mostly speak English. Communicating with my dad at home is kind of easy eventhough I speak to him in Spanglish sometimes, but since he's lived with me my whole life he understands me, or at least I hope he does. Anyways, I come from a mixed background. My mom is part white, Chomorro, and Mexican. She was born and raised here in Los Angeles. My dad is Mexican, born and raised in La Carreta, Durango Mexico. But came to California when he was 19 to have a better life here.
I was always judged because where i am from. I am a salvadorean and i know how to speak fluent english and spanish. People have always thought of me of bejng asian because of my small eyes and light skin. I do wonder if i am part asian but i dont have anything on proovong it. Sometimes people dont get along with salvadoreans which i think is very childish in a way i have never not like someone only because they are not from where i am from. I dont like to judge people without knowing them and thats a big problem today aswell african americans. I find myself trust worthy and a great friend to anybody allows me to be there friend i like to meet new people and socialize. Through out my whole life i was always critisized because of my culture which is unfair to me and others. Friends for me are family i treat them with the respect they deserve because they know me and care for me and i am thankful for my friends.
Finding my Identity
Identity is finding who you really are. Identity is something that has an impact on each individual. My name is Andrea Zamarripa I am seventeen years old. Finding my identity has been a journey since I was young. One really doesn’t find their identity until they are in their teens. However, that is not true every day is a new experience. Every day a person learns something new and every time a person learns something new they are finding something different about their identity. A person identity is changing all the time all though it is something that distinguishes who you are.
I first started to discover my identity when I was growing up in the Glassel Park community. I lived in the Glassel Park community for fifteen years before I moved to the Cypress Park community. Throughout my whole time living in the Glassel Park community I have experienced the differences between different ethnicities. Living in a certain hometown tells a lot about an individual. For example, if you live in Glendale or Pasadena most people think you have money. That’s usually mentioned because the houses on that area are expensive. However, living in the Glassel park community people think different of you. People usually think you are like any other individual. That shouldn’t matter people are who they are and their hometown shouldn’t distinguish that.
Living in a society where people are judgmental puts people in hard situations. Most of the time it brings the person self esteem down. It also puts people in situations where they think they can’t be better than those people. Living in a society where people are judgmental has been hard for me. This is usually because most of the time we are trying to live up to people standards. Over the long run I have noticed that people don’t really care about others. They are more worried about themselves and in order to put themselves at ease they put others down. Overall, I have decided to move forward with me life and do what’s best for me.
My Own Definition of American
My Name is Milca Prieto and I am Half Salvadorian and Half Mexican. When I was younger I felt the Pressure to decide between the two. When I Would bring up Mexican people would smile and say they were Mexican as well. They would take so much interest asking from what part, but when I would bring up Salvadoran they would only have negative things to say and bring up stereotypes. I was torn between the two and really confused about my identity. I really didn’t know anything about the salvadoran culture or anything , but the fact that my family had went through the Salvadoran war it meant so much to me to identify myself as Salvadoran. The Problem was I grew up with Mexican upcomings I ate Mexican food, I was Catholic, and I visited Mexico every year growing up. When I grew up I was no longer confused I Knew who I was . I was American I represented both cultures and mixed it into my own. American doesn’t mean White, to me it means being Mexican , Salvadoran , and American. America is filled with people from all over the world and identifying myself as American it allows me to be all of the above , especially a Latina in which I take much pride in.
When I was a child all I Spoke was English at Home. Even though, my family is Mexican I didn’t talk spanish at all I would go to my grandparents house and they would get mad at me telling me why didn’t I speak spanish. I thought English was the only language here. I was confused and then I realized I had to learn spanish because it was part of not only my family, but me as well. I had to do it for respect to my family and my ancestors. Sophomore year came and I went into spanish class knowing some spanish, but Junior Year is when I was taught how to speak it well and write it well . My Grandparents are now happy I talk to them in spanish and don’t get made fun of or lectured by them. I Am not longer confused with my Identity and I say with confidence that i’m Mexican-American.
The White Latina
Growing up as a child to now i never really had a problem with my identity i know who i am and who i strive to be. But that never stopped other people from questioning me and what ethnicity i am. As a young girl my nickname was always guera and gringa, although i do speak Spanish it never bothered me because i knew exactly who i am, but at times there would be frustration when people wouldn't accept me as Hispanic just because of my appearance. I was being judged as a white girl and not accepted as a Latina girl, frustration did come with the judgment in addition to not always being accepted as but still to this day it doesn't bother me because i know that I am Colombian/Ecuadorian who just so happens to look white.
I can connect to your story because people always questioned my ethnicity. My family members are all dark skin, and only a few of us are light skin, but people always look at me and would said "Oh you're Mexican, how come you look white." Even though I knew who I was and my culture, it hurt a little because I thought I had to be dark skin in order to be accepted in my community. I remember going out with my friends , I was ordering my food in Spanish and my friend was next to me, they talked to her in Spanish but they replied to me in English. I looked at her and she looked at me, her skin color is darker than mine, to them she looked Mexican but I looked "gringa". I laughed it off, it was very stereotyping, it didn't bothered me anymore. I doesn't matter if people think I'm more American than Mexican, I know who I am. And I like how you don't care either, and you are proud of your Colombian/Ecuadorian culture. You are right, we are Latinas that just happened to have lighter skin than others.
My name is Marc Anthony Peralta and growing up for me was a struggle in considering what I identify myself as an American or Mexican. At a early age I considered myself as an American even though both of my parents are Mexican. I never thought twice when people ask “Me what race I was?” I always answer that I was American and they asked me “Aren't i’m mexican because of my parents. I will answer them “No” because I was born in America so therefore I’m American. I never really payed special attention to my culture until middle school. In middle school I got ask “if I was Mexican?” I didn't reply to it until the next day. I was confused on that day until I asked my Mom “what race I am? “ She said well your Hispanic son. I reacted surprise to the answer I got. But from that day on I started to pay more about my father and mother culture and realized that I enjoy those things. I like Mexican culture because I like their Music, food, etc. This confusion was really good for me because it allow me to explore my culture. Now I really know what’s my identity.
I’m a Hispanic/ Mexican American teenagre that enjoys my culture and will never get rid of my Mexican heritage. I’m like most Mexican American teenagers which is wanting to be successful in life. I want to go to college and makes my whole family proud. I want to become a Doctor and give back to my community and culture. This is my story and I’m proud to share it with you.
Title: Proud of my Beautiful Culture
Idetity has always been an issue. Not only for being a girl but for being latino. Always being oppressed by race and considered a lower standard when compared to men.
Growing up a girl in my race community we were always looked at as lower. At family event they expected us to be in the kitchen, or cleaning. They always say we need to grow up and be a good stay at home mom or a good house wife. To always be there and like a servent for there husband or any man.
But they are wrong. My identity is a girl, a young lady, learning to become a women. Learning how to strive in a world where everyone thinks men are superior. Getting closer day by day.
I am Elizabeth Fernandez, I am a senior at ECALS High School. I am an eighteen years old. I was born in Los Angeles, California but both of my parent immigrated from Mexico, over 30 years ago, pursuing a better life. My parents speak mostly Spanish but are able to speak and understand a little bit of English. Growing up in a Mexican family, where both of my parents had to work in order to provide a roof over our heads and food on the table, we had to overcome a lot of obstacles. I am part of a large family, I have 7 siblings, 4 brothers and 2 sisters. out of my five older siblings, only one has a college degree. I want to be the second person in my family to graduate high school, and finish college. My older sister, Silvia, was the first in my family to graduate high school, finish college, and is now a registered nurse. I want to go after a higher education and become a social worker. I love children and helping them in any condition of their lives. As a social worker, I will be able to help those children who are in difficult situations. It has been difficult growing up in a low income and a minority. In the neighborhood I live in, there are not very many successful people with college educations because they need to work in order to provide for their families. I will not let anything get in my way of getting a college education. I am motivated and dedicated to doing so.
My name is Sebastian. I am a 18 year old boy. Idenity wasn't always a problem, actually i never even thought that I had an idenity issue.
This story was a long time ago I was a child at the time. I was playing with this white boy and i seen a white man coming my way filled with rage, It was the white boys father. He looked at me and said "you should play with your own kind" , i didn't know what the man was talking about his son did look like my kind. I went running towards my brother and asked him what the man ment. I figured out that it was somthing bad. I figured that out because my brother stood up as soon as i said that and asked me what man. I told him and pointed out the man. My brother cursed at this man so much that the man started to run away and my brother started to throw rocks at him.
After tha day i believed deep down that i was this type of monster and i wasn't the same as other kids. I thought there was something wrong with me. I was to scared of what my mother would tell me if i asked her so i decided to ask my teacher. My teacher had told me that the man was just a mean person and i am exactly the same as the other kids and introduced me to thesse other kids and i realized we were the same.
I realized i was a normal chicano boy and that doesn't make me any diffrent to a white boy or any other race.
Who am I ?
Identity is usually expressed by the fact of being who or what a person or thing is. Growing up has been an issue to me. Let me explain why. Way before i was born my mother had my sister Grace and my brother Cris. Little does my mother know 4 years later she was going to have a baby again. When my mother was pregnant by me she didn't know. During that period of time my parents were moving houses. She began to move heavy furniture and had a huge negative impact on her stomach. She went to the doctors and found out she was pregnant by me and my twin sister. Little did she know that caring all these heavy thing affect her dramatically. She lost my twin sister and only i stayed alive. Growing up seeing my parents argue made me question if my identity would ever be like at. My parents are separated and i only live with my mother. Growing up with separated parents to begin to question will i be like them or better. Many times to constantly compare your family with others and question why my family. When you also begin to notice you're not going to end up like that because you saw it and experienced it never would you wish that upon anyone. But, the question always roms inside your Am i going to be like that? Growing up Mexican, your categorized under being a latino. I have absolutely no problem with that. Growing up as a Latino girl was hard enough as well as growing up latino. We as people tend to categorize us women as housewives and can't have some of the advantages men have. Even today, no where in the constitution does it was women are created equal. We tend to be compared to mean so much that many women begin to think there men and I fell that’s where the lack of knowing who you are tend to come to play. I am a Chicano. I am a Mexican. I am American, but most importantly i am Who i came here to be.
My name is Armando Lucachin, I am 17 years old currently a senior at ecals. When I was 13-14 I have come to relize that I didn't like to do anything I was lazy,shy didn't like to socialize with people. One day my dad came up to me and said you need a change in your life, I then began to think to myself I needed a point of relief where I could begin to socialize more and become less lazy. I began to go workout with my dad he soon made me into a whole different person I began to see changes that I never tough I could be. This made me come out of my comfort zone and see the changes that one could have.
My name is Daisy Sanchez and I'm 17 years old. Iam Mexican American. The first language I was speaking was Spanish. Once I went to school I started learning English. Iam not confused of my identity because I know who I am. Iam proud to have a Mexican family and traditions. Growing up I've always visited my grandparents in Mexico improving my Spanish. However, many people confuse me for either be all white or either Armenia or Persian. Some people even think I don't speak Spanish. The truth is I acutually know how to speak it, read it, and write it really good. My mom is a light skin which makes me get that white "look" in me. Iam a very social person and likes to help people. I have one brother and one sister. They both are not as light skinned as me which make people think we are not related. In addition, Iam proud to have a Mexican family.
I've never really had an identity crisis but I have had something done that changed my views on the world to me. In my family I am known as the caring one.
In my family my moms brother had a son, a week after he was His girlfriend was was put into a psyche ward because she was seeing her cut from the C-section and she couldnt take it anymore. My parents decided to take the baby since my moms brother wouldn't be able to do it himself. The baby name was Brandon but I decided to call him BROLY because he reminded me of someone named BROLY from a show I like. We decided that we should try to get full custody of BROLY and one day the social workers called us and said that we need to come in with him he was almost a month old. I wasn't really paying attention to anything that was happening I was just watching him and then the words had registered in my head, the social worker said "I'm sorry we have to take him today" and as I heard those words I just looked at him as he was sleeping in the car seat. I took him out and held him tight knowing its was gonna be a long before I get to that again and I couldn't hold it in and I just started bawling and it was so hard for me to let go of him.
This day and everything having to meet up to this day changed my views. I was an optimistic person but ever since I can only think realistically. This entire situation changed me and has made me who I am to this day and the future he's my motivation in doing well in school so I can find him in the future and give him that hug that I promised myself I would give him.
Really touching story. I hope you make the promise in the future . Keep your head bro I know one day you will see him and it will be on of the happiest day of your life
I'm Paz, I'm 17 years old and I'm mexican. I have read most of the posts here. Makes me think that most of us don't really know each other well enough. Just like many of the people that judge us and put labels on us calling things we are not.
The time that I was confused with my identity was the time when my cousin ran away. As I said in the English post. The during the time when I was trying to prove to my stepdad that I was different. I questioned myself. How about if I do end up like her? How about if everyone that said if I came to the U.S I would end up in the streets? What If they were right, but I just didn't want to admit it. Was if the person I say I am is not who I really am. Having those thought made proving my stepdad wrong seem impossible, but at the end things went well. That struggle made me realize that I may have more of those identity confusion. It's okay because in life I will struggle,but at the end my story will en up an adventure book. With many experices that made me the person I will be at the end.
I do not know exactly who i am yet. Since i was a little girl things have kinda been set for me since elementary till now. I woke up went to school did what i was told went home did what i was told and along the way i lost all sense in independence. On the other hand i got fairly close to dependency. The one thing i happen to hold onto was the strangest habit of forgiving. That in a way is a part that i can classify as who i am. I never forgot anything that has happen to me but i always knew that everyone is different and in the end i rather be the one they feel safe coming to. I will remain open hearted with my arms wide open. I noticed that for others it is harder to believe that people can forgive or come back to what was. These past years in high school has shaped my in that aspect. It made me realize that not everyone will hold your hand, not everyone will keep their arms open. High school made me realize that by the end of my senior year i will find more stuff about myself that has yet to come. As for trouble about my identity you can say at one point i time yes i was confused. There was always something about my speech that fueled that confusion. When i was little i had problems with my speech. The two major words were , 'shark' and 'fear factor'. One day my family came to visit for a movie night and I turned out to be their entertainment. I remember clearly my aunt calling my name . I did not know what she wanted but once I was at the corner of the living room . She moved me to the center of the living room and told me to sit . Everyone was staring at me and in my head I was wondering why I was there. Soon enough she told me to say those two words about three times. Every time the words struggled out of my mouth I heard the whole room laugh . I felt like a laughing stock. Later that next year I was moved schools. In that school my speech problem was known to the teacher I had. I was placed with a special teacher to fix the problem I had. Soon after a year of classes my speech problem was fixed. Though that in some weird way messed up my Spanish speech . I was then unable to say some words in Spanish . I gave up one language for the other. Then after I gave up. Once again I started picking up the language I left behind but I never sounded the same . I was then known as a "gringa". Unknown if I was classified with my family back in Mexico but I felt I was more American than Mexican but know I'm proud to say I'm a Mexican and American. I'm not more of one than the other but w perfect balance of both .
Identity I have always considered myself Mexican. I guess because both my parents were born and raised in mexico and came to this country as adults, I don't really consider myself a full Mexican neither because I was born and raised in L.A. so I have always considered myself Mexican- American especially since I am first generation american. I have never been confused about my identity, however I do feel like it has been erased. The reason I say that Is because I know where my parents came from. My mom's side came from a small pueblo in Michoacan, Mexico, and my Dad's side is also from a small pueblo but from Hidalgo, Mexico. My mom's side is practically 100% indigenous and my Dad's side believe that his grandfather from his mother's side is indigenous, but from his Dad's side is Spanish because the last name Garrido is Spanish. I consider my Identity to be lost because when someone asks me what ethnicity I am I'll say American, or Mexican-American, or Hispanic, or Mexican, or Chicano etc... but for some reason I will not say I am Spanish, even though that is where my last name comes from.
Thank you for posting beautiful responses!!!